


Secrets Kept

by poutychannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Dad AU, Fluff, Gen, Hidden Family, I'm Bad At Tagging, Parenthood, Secret Child, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, chan is a great father, chan is still in skz, he'd do anything for his little girl, only a little angst tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-06-24 23:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poutychannie/pseuds/poutychannie
Summary: Chan visits his most favorite people in the world, but he has to do it secretly.





	1. Chapter 1

His stomach was in knots as the car pulled up to the curb in front of your apartment. He pulled his mask over his face, tugging his hat down over his blonde hair. He took a breath, pushing the door open and exiting the car. He kept his head down as he approached the front door buzzer. He pressed the button with your name on it, shifting impatiently on his feet.

His nerves were getting to him now as he waited for you to answer. It had been months since he was last allowed to see her. Would she even recognize him?

“ _Hello?_ ” Your voice came through the speaker, a little fuzzy because of the old hardware, but he could tell it was you.

“Hey, uhh… hey, it’s me,” he muttered quietly. “I’m here, sorry I’m a little late.”

“ _Oh! No no, it’s okay! I’m glad you came. I’ll buzz you up,_ ” your voice said quickly before cutting off with a loud buzz.

He took another breath, trying to steady his hands as he yanked the building door open. He nodded at the older woman who sat at the front desk. She was always there when he visited you, and though she never saw his face properly, she knew it was him. She gave him a gentle smile, which he returned, though it was obstructed by his black cotton face mask.

The building was somewhat old, so there was no elevator. Your apartment was only on the second floor, so he didn’t mind the small climb up the stairs. He walked down the hallway slowly, approaching your door. He breathed deeply one last time before lifting a hand to knock. He heard feet pattering lightly to the door, and the sound of the knob turning made his hands shake again.

You opened the door with a wide grin, and he finally pulled his mask down, revealing his own bright grin. As you pulled him into a tight embrace, his shaking hands steadied, his heart bursting with happiness. You sniffled into his shoulder, inhaling his scent between choked sobs.

“God, I missed you,” he hummed, placing a prolonged kiss to the top of your head.

It wasn’t like the two of you didn’t talk, but you didn’t get to see each other in person that often. The last time he laid eyes on you properly was three months ago.

“Mommy?” A small sleepy voice said from behind you.

You quickly wiped your eyes and turned around to face your little girl, who had just woken up from her nap and stumbled into the living room. She wasn’t quite fully aware of the scene yet.

“Hey, baby, did you have a good nap?” You asked the three year old with an adoring smile. She looks just like her daddy.

Chan couldn’t ignore the grin that spread his cheeks apart and the slight sting at his eyes. _Shit_ , he’s so fucking happy to see her.

You scooped your daughter up into your arms, and she rested her head on your shoulder, eyes closing immediately. “Baby girl, someone special came to see you today,” you cooed, smiling over at Chan.

He was still frozen in the hall, the door standing wide open. He was somewhat afraid to come inside. He didn’t know what he was afraid of, but he was.

“Come inside,” you laughed a little. “I don’t care if you don’t live here, this is still your home.”

 _Home…_ he liked the sound of that.

He let a tear fall down his cheek before quickly wiping it away. He stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him. He approached the two of you slowly, wiping his shaking, sweaty palms over his jeans. He held his hands out to the toddler in you arms.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly, just barely above a whisper.

Her little lashes fluttered open to see who was addressing her. “Daddy?” She yawned, sleepily rubbing her eye with the back of her fist.

He nodded, biting his lips together for a second to try and fight the tears back. He was so fucking happy. “Yeah, it’s me.”

She reached out to him, “hold me.”

His walls were broken by that. He grabbed her from your arms gently with no hesitation, holding her close to his chest while she hugged his neck. Tears were spilling from his eyes, and he could no longer hold them back, not that he was trying anymore.

“I missed you, daddy,” she mumbled, still a little groggy from her nap.

He let out an obnoxious sob, feeling his heart break at her words. “I missed you, too. I missed you and mommy so much.” He kissed the top of her head repeatedly, giving her all the kisses he wished he was able to give her every single day that he has to be away from her.

You ushered him over to the couch to sit with your daughter. You left the two alone to make lunch and when you returned, she had fully woken up, smiling excitedly as she told her father about what he missed the last three months.

“And I got a new bunny!” She announced excitedly, bouncing on Chan’s knee.

“Really?” He pretended to be astonished by the news.

“Oh yeah,” you chuckled, placing their lunch on the table. “She’s become really obsessed with stuffed bunnies lately.”

Chan smiled up at you, “oh yeah? I’d love to see them after lunch.”

The little girl in his lap squealed with excitement. “Yeah, and they all have names! I love them!”

“Oh, I can’t wait to meet them,” he said, trying to match her enthusiasm.

“But first, eat lunch,” you told them, waving them over to the table.

Chan stood from the couch, carrying his little girl over to her booster chair at the table. You pushed her plate of nuggets over to her, which she started eating happily, wiggling in her seat.

“Are you dancing?” Chan asked her with a small giggle and a little wiggle of his own.

She laughed happily, “you’re silly, daddy!”

He crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at her, making her giggle harder. He missed her beautiful laugh; it made his heart swell.

“She watches you all the time on tv,” you told him, resting your chin in the palm of your hand.

He felt pride bloom in his chest as he looked at you. “Yeah?” A bright grin spread over his face slowly.

“Well, we both do,” you shrug. “Every chance we get. Isn’t that right, girly?” You turned and asked your daughter, who nodded vigorously.

“Wanna be just like daddy and his friends!” She yelled, throwing her hands in the air excitedly.

Chan smiled proudly, laughing at her mannerisms. “Well, you have to work hard and grow up big and strong to be like daddy’s friends, okay?”

She nodded again.

“And eat your veggies,” he added at the end.

She frowned a little at that one, which made him chuckle. “Even the green ones?” She asked hopefully.

He laughed again, giving a little nod. “Yep, even the green ones.”

She pursed her lips in thought, “okay! I’ll eat the green ones, too!” She clenched her little fists in determination.

After lunch, Chan followed her to her bedroom, sitting cross-legged on the floor as she handed him each of her rabbit toys.

“This one is Innie because he’s the smallest,” she told him, placing a small pink rabbit in his lap.

Chan chuckled at the soft rabbit. _Jeongin would love this,_ he thought to himself as he looked down at the fluffy bunny.

“And this one is Hannie because he has big cheeks!” She told her dad, handing him a bunny that did have particularly puffy cheeks.

 _Are they all named after the members?_ He thought silently, smiling at the idea.

She brought him three rabbits at once, “the black one is Binnie, the blue one is Felix, and the yellow one is MinMin.”

Chan was being covered in rabbits but still smiled adoringly at the tot. How cute. “Are all your rabbits named after daddy’s friends?”

She shook her head, grabbing the biggest and fluffiest of the nine rabbits. It was almost as big as she was. She crawled into Chan’s lap with the white rabbit.

“This one is Channie,” she told him, petting the rabbit’s ears softly.

“That’s my big name!” He told her happily, pointing at his chest.

She nodded with a smile, scrunching her nose. “I know that!”

“Is this bunny named after me?” He said, petting the plush’s head.

She nodded again. “He’s my favorite because he’s the daddy of all~ the other bunnies. He’s really nice and smart.”

Chan wanted to cry again, pulling her in for another hug. His breath became uneven as he tried to hold back the tears again.

But he failed.

“What’s wrong, daddy?” The toddler tugged on his shirt.

He kissed her forehead, “nothing, baby. I just missed you a lot.”

She hummed, snuggling into his chest. “I missed you a lot, too.” She sighed and looked up at him with sad eyes. “When do you have to go away again?”

“Later, not for a while, though.” He smiled sadly.

“When will you come back?” She asked him with a frown.

He frowned back at her, shaking his head. “I don’t know yet, baby girl.”

She nodded, “oh... I wish you could stay with me forever.”

He hugged her to his chest again. “Me too, love.”

That night, after dinner, the little girl refused to leave her daddy’s side. The three of you all cuddled together on the couch and watched Disney movies for a few hours. You had curled into Chan’s side with your head on his shoulder, while your daughter laid on his chest, bunching and unbunching his shirt sweetly in her tiny hand. One of his arms was around your waist, while the other stroked your daughter’s back.

Soon she was drifting off to sleep, listening to the sound of his heart thumping softly in his chest. He hummed happily, stroking her soft yet slightly tangled hair. He wished the night didn’t have to end, but to his dismay, his phone began to ring on the coffee table.

You reached over, answering his cell phone once you saw the caller ID. “Hey Woojin… yeah, he’s right here… can’t I keep him for the night?” You smiled mischievously at Chan, who kissed your forehead in response. “Yeah, I understand… I guess I’ll send him home… yeah, okay. Bye Woojin.” You chuckled a bit before hanging up, “sorry, Jeongin, she’s asleep. I’ll have her call her daddy tomorrow so you can talk to her, okay?”

Chan chuckled. He knew Jeongin adored children, and he also knew Jeongin was one of her favorite people. “Looks like Jeongin is coming with me next time for a play date.”

“Aww,” you teased him as you hung up his cell phone. “Your two babies are gonna be able to play together! That’s so sweet!” You pinched his cheek as he grinned.

“Yeah, my two babies,” he agreed happily.

When he was finally able to convince himself to get off the couch, he insisted on putting his daughter to bed himself. He carried her sleeping form into her room, placing her gently in her little bed. He tucked the blanket around her, kissing her forehead before standing to leave the room.

“Mm, daddy?” Her sweet little voice called out to him again.

He turned around toward her bed again, petting her hair down gently. “Hey, sweetheart. Daddy has to go away now.”

“Okay…” she said, a hint of a pout in her voice. She knew he couldn’t stay, as much as she wanted him to. “Bye, daddy.”

He sighed sadly, “see you later, baby girl. I’ll come home soon. I promise.”

She nodded sleepily, a yawn escaping her lips. “Can I have Channie?” She pointed at the white rabbit laying on the floor.

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, of course.” He scooped up the toy and placed it on the mattress.

She immediately wrapped her small arms around it, nuzzling into the soft fur. “Goodnight, daddy. I love you.”

He inhaled sharply, feeling his heart swell. “I love you, too… so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! I have an idea for a part two if anyone is interested. Comments and kudos are appreciated. 
> 
> yell at me on tumblr: @wonhoslittledevil


	2. Chapter 2

Chan had a pit of guilt in his stomach. It had been three months since his last visit, and he wasn’t able to spend his daughter’s fourth birthday with her this year, having to settle for a facetime call so he could sing to her, which all of the other members happily joined in on. He clutched the purple rabbit to his stomach, something he’d gotten for her to hopefully make up for missing out on her special day. 

You were always understanding of his job and his feelings. You knew it killed him inside a little more each day to have to be away from her, so when he called you asking if she still liked bunnies and what color she didn’t have yet, you smiled to yourself and helped him pick out the perfect one.

Jeongin was busying himself by looking out the window, but he looked over to his hyung and frowned. The younger placed a hand on Chan’s knee, giving a reassuring squeeze. Chan looked down at his hand and up to the younger’s face. He gave him a small smile.

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Jeongin smiled happily. “I’m sure she’ll love it, and she’ll be really happy to see you.”

Chan just nodded, the youngest was right. She probably just wanted to see her daddy, and the thought made his chest hurt.

As the car pulled up to the curb, Chan and Jeongin both put their masks up. Chan pulled his hat down further, while Jeongin put the hood of his jacket up. The two made their way to the speaker, and Jeongin asked if he could call you. Chan laughed a little and nodded. Jeongin pushed the button excitedly and waited for your voice to come through. 

“ _ Hello? _ ” You asked through the muffled speaker. 

“Noona, we’re here! Let us in, please!” The younger boy chimed in a singsong tone. 

Chan chuckled as the loud buzz signified the unlocking of the door. He tugged it open and waved at the old woman at the desk, which Jeongin also did. The woman smiled gently at the boys, though she didn’t recognize one of them. They made their way up the stairs, Jeongin following behind Chan down the hall. Chan stopped in front of a door, and the maknae slowed to a stop behind him. 

Before Chan could reach up to knock, the knob turned and was quickly flung open, revealing a small girl jumping up and down excitedly. “Daddy!”

Chan’s grin spread over his cheeks, his eyes lighting up immediately as he stooped down to hug her tightly. “Hi, sweetheart! Daddy missed you so much.”

The little girl released her grip around his neck to lean back and kiss his cheek. “I missed you too, daddy!”

Jeongin’s smile was wide watching the scene. He’d never seen the little girl in person, only talked to her over the phone and watched Chan talk to her on FaceTime mostly. Seeing them together in person made his heart warm. His leader looked so happy. 

“I brought someone to play with you, baby girl,” Chan told her, holding up the purple rabbit. 

The little girl squealed and clutched the rabbit to her chest, twirling around happily with it. “I love it! Thank you, daddy!”

He chuckled at his daughter’s excitement. “I thought you might. Happy birthday, sweetie.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I have one more surprise…” he looked up at Jeongin, waving him into the apartment. 

“Hi, little one!” Jeongin smiled excitedly, waving with both hands. 

The four year old’s eyes went wide, but her smile fell. She immediately hid her face behind the purple bunny plush. Not what the two men were expecting. 

Jeongin pouted at her reaction. “What’s the matter? You don’t want to be my friend anymore, little one?” 

Chan scooped the little girl into his arms, who was still hiding behind her new bunny. “It’s okay, Jeongin. She’s just a little shy,” he told him. He ushered Jeongin into the apartment so he could close the door behind them. 

Jeongin took a few steps inside and straight up to you. “Hello, noona,” the young man pulled you into a hug, which you gladly returned. 

“Hey, Jeongin. Long time, no see,” you tell him. “I hope Channie isn’t working you boys too hard.”

“No, of course not,” Jeongin smiled. He turned around to see Chan cooing quietly at the little girl who was hiding in her dad’s chest. The little girl peeked up at Jeongin, and he pouted at her again. 

“Look, you hurt Innie’s feelings,” he heard Chan tell her. “You don’t want him to be sad, right?” 

The girl shook her head with a frown. 

“Why don’t you give him a hug?” Chan suggested, and she eyed Jeongin warily. 

Jeongin gave her puppy dog eyes, holding his hands out to her, and she smiled a little. She gave her dad a little nod, and reached out for the younger boy. He took her in his arms and held her to his chest as her little arms went around his neck. He practically melted at how cute she was. 

Chan chuckled and came over to pull you into an embrace. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, then the crown of your head. He really missed kissing you. 

He sighed, pulling away from you and turning to the maknae, who was smiling at the little girl. “Hey, sweetie, why don’t you show Innie your bunnies? I’m sure he’d love to see them.” 

The little girl squealed and nodded. She wiggled to be let down, and Jeongin allowed her to stand on the floor again. She quickly grabbed his hand, leading him to her small pink bedroom. Once inside, she instructed the young man to sit on the floor, which he did gladly. She bounded over to her bed and grabbed the smallest pink bunny, bringing it to him excitedly. 

“This one is Innie,” she told him proudly. “He’s small, and pink, and cute like you!”

Jeongin smiled at the compliment. She continued to bring Jeongin all of the rabbit toys she had named after the Stray Kids members, but the little girl suddenly got quiet as she picked up the last one—the big, fluffy white rabbit. 

“Is that one named after Channie-hyung?” He asked her as she stared at it. She looked up at him and nodded, a little pout forming her lips.  _ She looks just like him when she makes that face, _ Jeongin thought. “What’s wrong, little one?” He asked gently, opening his arms for a hug. 

The toddler moved to sit in his lap, resting her cheek on his shoulder as she patted the plush toy’s head. Jeongin mimicked her actions on her own head. 

“I miss daddy,” she told him quietly. 

“He’s here now, little one,” he tried to reassure her with a sweet smile. 

She looked up at him with a pout and her eyes reddening around the edges. “But he will have to go away again!”

Jeongin stopped patting her hair to wrap her up in a hug. “I know he’d stay if he could. He always talks about how much he misses you.”

“Then why can’t he stay? Doesn’t he love me?” She sniffled into the boy’s shoulder, nearly bringing him to tears as well. 

“Oh, little one, of course he does,” he told her rocking her little body back and forth in his arms. 

After the little girl stopped crying, Jeongin was able to get her to play again before he excused himself to the ‘bathroom’. He really wanted to tell Chan what his daughter had said, even though he knew what it would do to the man. 

“Channie-hyung,” he poked his head into the kitchen quietly, seeing you and Chan cooking together and looking as happy as could be. 

Chan looked up with a smile, “yeah, Jeongin-ah?”

“Umm, can I talk to you for a second?” He rubbed the back of his neck, making Chan frown a little. 

“Yeah, what… what’s up?” He asked as he stepped out of the kitchen to follow Jeongin for a private conversation. 

“I was playing with her in her room, and she suddenly asked me why you don’t stay here,” Jeongin told him. 

Chan nodded, “okay, I’ll have a talk with her.”

“That’s not all, hyung,” Jeongin told him. “She also asked me if you still love her.”

Chan could feel his eyes stinging, but he nodded in understanding. “And you told her I do, right?” 

Jeongin nodded, “yes of course I did.”

Chan sighed, “okay, why don’t you go help cook dinner, and I’ll go talk to her.”

Jeongin nodded again, walking back into the kitchen. Chan made his way down the hall to his daughter’s bedroom, pushing the door open slowly and poking his head in the room. 

“Baby girl?” He asked quietly. 

The little girl looked up at him with a smile, “hi, daddy.”

She acted as if nothing was wrong. Maybe Jeongin had misunderstood? But Chan had to know for himself and fix it if necessary. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” He came in and sat on the floor across from the girl. He gestured for her to come closer. She placed her toy to the side and climbed into her father’s lap. “Innie said something that made Daddy a little sad.”

“Innie is being a meanie?” She asked him, looking into his eyes with her big brown ones. 

He chuckled a little, “not exactly. Innie said that you told him I didn’t love you anymore. It made me very sad.”

She looked down at her small fingers that played with Chan’s larger ones. She didn’t say anything as he watched her fiddle with his fingers. He sighed and placed his cheek on top of her head. 

“I love you very much. I’ll always love you, and I’ll always love mommy,” he told her. She nodded silently, still not looking up at him, so he gently grabbed her chin to make her look at him. “I know I can’t always be here with you and mommy, but I will always love you both so much. I don’t want you to ever, ever forget that.” 

This time she looked into his brown eyes with her own. “I love you, daddy.” 

He smiled finally, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I love you, too, baby girl.” He pulled her into a slightly too tight hug, but she didn’t complain at all. 

Soon after, you had peeked your head into her room to let them know it was time for dinner. They both walked hand-in-hand to join you and Jeongin at the table. The younger smiled when he saw the two of them together. All four of you ate and talked happily to each other. Chan made a note that the little girl beside him was eating all of her green veggies just like he told her to, and it made him smile. 

Once dinner was finished, Chan announced that he needed to get Jeongin back to the dorms because he had an early schedule the next day. He first hugged you tightly, promising to be back again as soon as he can before kissing your lips passionately. Meanwhile, Jeongin was hugging Chan’s daughter to his chest and telling her how much fun he had with her. When Chan turned to the little girl, Jeongin released her, moving instead to hug you. 

Chan stopped down to the child’s level, grabbing her hands and smiling at her. “Remember what I said?” 

She smiled sadly and nodded. “I love you, daddy.”

He pulled her into another too-tight hug, burying his face into her hair. “I love you so much. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

The four year old nodded. “I’ll miss you lots.” 

He laughed a little, unsure if it was from relief or humor, but it prompted a few tears to spill from his eyes. “I’ll miss you lots, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I was working on so many other things that this one slipped my mind completely, but when I realized I never finished part two, I decided I had to finish it before the year was over and voila! Here it is! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> yell at me on tumblr: @wonhoslittledevil


End file.
